Saturday, December 28, 2013

NYE traditions

I know every region has its own New Year's Eve and New Year's Day traditions, but I thought I would share what we have always done! (By the way, Merry Christmas and all that jazz, hope it was rad!)

On NYE, my family (and now MY family) has always stayed in, done a few sparklers, and had junk food dinner! If you are unfamiliar with the JFD, allow me to introduce you! It is a true delicacy of all the processed, yummy crap sold in stores today. A JFD can consist of any of the following: pizza rolls, chips, dip, cheese, crackers, fruit, (gotta be healthy!) bagel  bites, sliders, (any kind) nuts, any kind of frozen appetizer, pretty much anything that looks/sounds good while you are shopping! My Momma's rule is you have to have fruit for health reasons, lol! So we stay in and do our sparklers, then eat a bunch of JUNK and go to bed either before or after the ball drops. Depends on your alkie consumption. Champagne is okay, but I prefer wine for the long haul!

On NYD, after we have burst out of our JFD comas, we play with family until it's time for the traditional Southern (Alabama) meal. We have: meat (typically a pork, like a boston butt pronounced "butte-ocks" according to my dad, :) lol!) black eyes peas, collard greens, and hot water corn cakes. If you have never had the pleasure of tasting HWCC, come on down!!! It's corn meal and water mixed Into to a paste, shaped into small pancakes, then fried up till absolutely scrumptious! 

Our foods represent health, wealth, and good luck in the coming year. Do you eat/do the same things? Please share!

And, happy 2014 to you all!

Monday, December 16, 2013

I'm gonna...(Christmas Edition)

PI play this ridiculous game with the kids while we are going up the stairs called, "I'm gonna..." They think it's hilarious when I act like I'm gonna get them for one reason or another.  ( they like for me to be a dog or Lucifer fthe cat rom Cinderella and chase them,)

Anyways, all that to say, here is what "I'm gonna" this holiday!

I'm gonna keep chasing you up those stairs even though my rheumatoid arthritis is killing me, because you love it!

I'm gonna make 38485
Christmas treats and dishes because it's tradition.

I'm gonna wake up at the crack on Christmas Day because you're excited to open gifts.

I'm gonna enjoy my family brunch at cousin Melissa's because I love my family. (Like this is a sacrifice, lol!)

I'm gonna cook my ass off for Christmas feast dinner because it's important!

I'm gonna wrap all these darn presents without whining because we are lucky to have presents!

I'm gonna make Christmas Day breakfast because I have guests and they need food!

I'm gonna keep a positive attitude and keep teaching you about giving to others.

I'm gonna get into the damn Christmas spirit once and for all!

Merry Christmas!! What are you "gonna?"

Thursday, December 12, 2013


Well, I am officially Scrooge McDuck bah humbug on this holiday season. I don't know what my problem is. I'm blaming it on the move and a super late Thanksgiving. Also, our laptop bit the dust, so there goes my canvas making, Christmas carding self. 

I'm just blah. I just set our tree up and did our mantel TODAY. Pathetic. I can't even read blogs and look at Pinterest because, hello? Inadequate city. I love Christmas, but feel like this year it's all "DO ALL THE THINGS! Hurry!" And I'm like no thanks. Also, I have not shopped ONE TIME besides the two things from Santa. 

So pretty much no one has gifts, nor have I any ideas. WTF Susannah. 

My elf is a slacker, he doesn't do anything except maybe move from one room to another. I'm just trying to survive right now. Anyone else? Please say yes...

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

I'm baaaaaack...

Hello world! Long time no blog!

We have been in Birmingham for five months already!! We moved in to our new house 46 days after moving here. We love our house, the neighborhood, and the surrounding areas! Birmingham is a great place to live and I have missed it since I left for Auburn in 1997.

I'm not even going to try and catch you up on what we have been doing, just wanted to pop in and say I'm going to try and be back more regularly. I'm not sure what direction I want this blog to take, since it has been neglected for so long, but, I am still reading your blogs! 

I have also been MIA on Twitter lately-been reconnecting on FB with my people. 

I hope to have some house pics up soon, right now I am recovering from a holiday hangover-I hosted my first ever WHOLE FAMILY Thanksgiving/Iron Bowl party and am still cleaning!!

         We joined the Birmingham Zoo.

     Emma started 5x/week preschool.

    We see our parents at least once a    week (Harry bear is wearing my dad's glasses).

We see our cousin at least once a week! With another one on the way!!!

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

The Tickle Monster

So, let's have another true story of something that happened to me this weekend. But first, the background.
I belong to an online yard sale site on FB, and it's awesome! You list your junk, people buy it. For way more than they would at an actual garage sale. For instance, I've made $700 since July 5. Yeah, I'm serious. It's freaking addicting and awesome and win-win because you are getting rid of stuff and making dolla dolla bills.

Anyway, I posted this "Tickle Monster Kit" which is a cool book and gloves-you read it while tickling with the gloves. Whatev, it was very nice and almost new like. So I had a person interested. I told her that with all I had going on, I needed her to come to my moving sale and pick it up. I gave her the address, and she replied saying it was 20 miles away and too far from her house. Ummm, okay.

So at some point, I told her maybe I could meet her the next day. Then I got busy having a garage sale and packing, and forgot. You can see where this is going, right? No, I didn't forget to meet her. I forgot I said that to her and continued on with life.


So, later on Saturday night, I was checking in on FB and saw this message from another girl asking if she could get it, and I was like DUH. Can you meet tomorrow? Ok? Cool-see ya then. Then I noticed original home girl had written me back and was like "OK, let's meet tomorrow." OMG. Great. Big mistake on my part. Big. Huge. I didn't want to immediately write back and tell new girl that she couldn't have it, because honestly, I was still ticked that original gangsta said it was too far, wah, wah. So, I lied.

Note to self-don't lie. Especially about something as STUPID as this. I told her I sold it at the yard sale because I didn't want to sell it to her and because I had already talked to the other girl. And then, I posted on FB to the new girl and old girl saw it. See below for my PM's with crazy girl. I'm the text in blue.

So, okay, I lied. I said sorry. Then she called me an idiot. Over a BOOK. I especially wasn't going to meet her after that. She told me she was blocking me since I was crazy. OMG. I can't even. Between her and the lady who took the oven for free, I just have no words. It was a weekend for bat shit crazy. And so what if my sister was in charge of the replies, because I shudder at confrontation.

On Sunday morning, we were thinking that we would have an oven and a crazy hooker in the driveway demanding her Tickle Monster kit. HA!

And here is her picture, after finding out I wouldn't sell her the Tickle Monster kit.

Chill, bitch. We're done.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Jacked by a woman at the yard sale

So, we had a yard sale this weekend to get rid of 9 years of clutter. I am a very organized person, but I still had LOTS of stuff that needed to go.

So, I posted on my facebook yard sale site that I was having a moving sale, and began digging out crap to sell. I also said there were no prices. Because ain't nobody moving in a week got time to price 548696 items.

So, mom and sis were here, we were setting up and the sale started. It was a little painful for me to sell things for like 2$ (ie a rug, clothing, dishes, etc) but I let it go. Things were moving right along. Sidenote: some people do not like to bargain. If they ask how much, I say an amount, they will just put it down instead of asking me for another price.)

We had an oven from our kitchen out there, because the broiler went out right after we put our house went on the market. "Someone" decided we could probably sell it, so we drug it out and had some interested people, but they either couldn't fix the broiler, or they didn't have a way to tote it home.

Well here comes this old lady. She is bee-lining to the oven. She's like, "How much?" I said, "$10??" She goes, "How about it's free, because I don't know if it really works, and if it doesn't I can just throw it away." I'm standing there like whaaaaaa? Then I figured it was better to let her take it then for me to have to figure out how to get rid of it. Cause it doesn't exactly fit in the trash. So I tell her fine, take it. She's like, "Can you put it in my car full of junk?" Ummmmmm....

So my sister and I get a dolly and finagle this giant oven into her Jeep Cherokee. Whereupon I find a pair of my LL Bean flipflops in the back. Seriously? She was trying to jack my flops and get a free oven? I'm like, "I'll make you a pile over here for the other things." She continues to poke around and ask if our lawnmower is for sale and if we have any furniture for sale.

Finally, she gets to her pile and asks how much. She had: flipflops, a clock, a ceramic hot chocolate thing, and something else. I tell her $5. She literally says to me, "How about $1?" I'm dumbfounded because I've just been out cheaped by an elderly woman. By the time I gather myself, she has her pile and is bookin it out of there.

My sister and I sat there and died laughing for a good 5 minutes. Then she came back. Because she left the box of burners and drip pans in the driveway.

And lest you think this story is over, it is not. That afternoon, probably about 2 hours after she left, she CAME BACK because she was missing a piece to the oven. I looked all over the garage for it, couldn't find it, said sorry, but it was free. She wouldn't let it go. I had to go get Jason. She said for him to come get it!! He was like, "Sorry, you be crazy. It was a free oven. It's yours. I'm not coming to pick it up." I literally was DYING. She made me take her number down in case we found the part while packing the garage.

The rest of the weekend, I would look at Sarah and say, "I can't even believe what just happened." And we would just crack up all over again. And we woke up on Sunday expecting to see an oven sitting in our driveway.

Moral: watch it at the yard sales, those older woman will work you over.

Monday, July 29, 2013


No, I'm not pregnant.

BUT, I've been sitting on a secret for about four months now. And now I can share!

We are moving BACK HOME to Birmingham, Alabama!!! I can't wait to be by family!!

We put our house on the market at the very end of March. We had at least 30 showings. And at the beginning of July, we got an offer! July 9, to be exact. And the buyers want to move in on AUGUST 4th.

So, I started packing back then, and then I slacked off because, what if it didn't happen. Then we had our appraisal and inspection, everything went well, and that was last week. So, I have been packing a 2500 square foot home for the past week with two children. It's about as much fun as washing 485 disposable diapers with all of your favorite clothes and then having to pick all the shit off your clothes. Just saying.

Thankfully, my MIL came for four days and I got some more packing done, then my mom and sis came for the weekend. We managed to pack up the whole master closet, attic, my bedroom, and some of the garage. We also had a yard sale and made a nice profit!

Jason is going to commute to Atlanta to work three days per week. I'm going to stay home with the kiddos and do my thing.

Since the sale happened so quickly, we don't have a house picked out. We haven't even gone to look. Because, hello. Packing house = more important. So, we will be shacking up in my sister's basement.
That's gonna be about as fun as picking fleas off a monkey while driving through a mud pit on heroin.

Basically, this will be me.

In all seriousness, it will be fun and A LOT of crazy for my family of four to live with her family of three. We will be looking for houses stat!

I am so excited to be moving home, being closer to everyone, and getting to see all the people on the reg.

We close on Friday. The moving van comes Saturday. Our entire house goes into storage. It's going to be a great adventure. Please pray that I don't end up looking like this before we get into our new home!

Friday, July 5, 2013

Zoo Atlanta and Cumming Aquatic Center ("Fieldtrips!")

About a month ago, we met up with one of my best hoochies from college, Emily!

Now, those of you familiar with Atlanta know how the "closeness" is. Emily lives in Decatur, I live in Sugar Hill. She is about 5 minutes from downtown Atl, and I'm about 40 minutes north of downtown. So, although we live in roughly the same area, it's dang hard to hang with the Atlanta traffic and roads!

We planned a trip to Zoo Atlanta with Emily and her kiddos Kirkland and Harrison and had a blast! We also met up with her neighbor and his two girls.

We  had a great time catching up and playing!

Haha! The Lion King has arrived!

Oh my. Emma mounting a gorilla.

Harrison riding the choo-choo train. His highlight of the trip!

We had a great time seeing our zoo and hanging with a great friend!

A few days (a week??) later, we went to the Cumming Aquatic Center. It has just opened up to the public and is very cool! We met a few friends and their kids there. I looked online and noticed it was a zero entry and had a cool playground in the water. I knew Emma would have a blast! Harrison is more interested in snacks on the chair at this point!

So Emma was playing in the 2-3 feet of water  and I was watching her while feeding Harrison graham crackers. Emma had on an obnoxiously big white bow, so I was able to track her by finding that.

Can't see the bow, but look at those LONG LEGS!  Harrison is mesmerized, lol!!

Anyway, Emma was walking around, swimming, playing, etc. I looked up to find her, and saw her bobbing up and down in about 4 feet of water. Little hands scrambling to grab the side of the pool. No life jacket on. Because it was  a zero entry pool that was not deep-according to the internet. Luckily, I was watching her. Luckily, I saw her, TWO FEET from a lifeguard, fighting for air. I jumped up, fully clothed, ran through the water, and DOVE onto her and grabbed her. 

I cannot EVEN IMAGINE if I was letting the lifeguards watch her while I gossiped or snacked with Harrison. Literally. She would be gone. I'm sure of it. She was SO CLOSE to help. So close to the side. They were scanning long range, not under their feet. I grabbed her, and then all of the parents on the side of the pool were like, "whaaaa just happened?" I was not sure. I started having a panic attack, in the pool, fully clothed, thinking about how my baby girl almost drowned. We got out, calmed down, then talked to the head lifeguard. 

We haven't been back since. But, we will. With a freaking heavy duty life jacket. Be cautious, folks. Be diligent. Cause it only takes a few seconds, and you wouldn't even know. Stay vigilant.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Giving up the BINKY!

Ohhhhh, friends. I have a confession to make. And, from the title, I'm sure you can assume what it is. That's right-I'm a binky mom. I have been a binky mom for the past FOUR YEARS. I love the binky. The binky brings comfort to newborns and toddlers alike. The binky is good. The binky makes my children happy. The binky is a God send.

And then? I took the damn binky away. That's right-I stripped my children of one of their two comfort items. The other item being a knitted lovie.

Anywho, I have always had some backlash from husband and family members to just TAKE.THE BINKY.AWAY. SUSANNAH. God, just take it, don't be so scared, it's so babyish, it's awful, it's deforming them, blah, blah, blah. I didn't get down with all that because I had a binky UNTIL I WAS SIX YEARS OLD.

Yes, you read that right. I was in SCHOOL and still took a binky at home. God bless my mama, she indulged my binky addict ways. And I was a sly one. I would tell her (the former dental hygienist) that I was READY to give that binky to the dentist, throw it off a bridge, put it in the trash, etc. And then when it came time to shit or get off the pot-I did not shit. I stayed on the pot. With ma' binky.

And then I turned six and shit got real and I threw it off a bridge into the Mississippi River on vacation.

Back to the case in point. I was indulging my children in their binky addict ways, because what? What was really gonna happen? Jacked up teeth? Going to kindergarten with it? No. Get real. It would work itself out.

Then, we came upon binky loss in the night. Binky falling out. Where's the binky? Wahhhh! I want my binky, okay I'm up now!

Then we went to the beach at the beginning of May and I saw a SEVEN YEAR OLD GIRL in the bathroom of Cracker Barrel with a binky in her mouth. In broad daylight. And my child said to her, "Why do you have a binky in the bathroom during the day?" (Then I died and was simultaneously proud of her. Ha!) So husband and I embarked upon "Binky Removal 2013."

I told him it HAD to be when he was home-because honestly? Who wants to do that shiz alone? Not this girl! We chose Memorial Day weekend-when he would be around to deal with the binky backlash.

We made a plan. We stuck with it. We were going to Build a Bear and putting that damn binky inside of a stuffed animal for comfort and it was GOING TO WORK!

So off we went to the mall, we built a puppy dog (Harrison's request) and an ugly ass tie-dyed bear (Emma's request), we stuffed that binky inside, did a dance, gave it a heart/brain/whatever, and high tailed it out of there for $38!!!

Emma's bear was named Lowly, Harrison's dog was named Joanie, we went to the car armed with our binky lovin' fools, and................the shit hit the fan.

Before going inside. Everyone is happy with their crack, I mean, binky.

Sidenote: How ridiculous does my ALMOST FOUR YEAR OLD look with a binky?!?!?!

On the way home, Emma lost her shiz, Buddy kept saying "bi-bi" and I was hyperventilating thinking of nap and bed time.

Naps were a crap shoot, bed time was decent. Emma was up until 11:00, woke up twice asking for her binky, then was over it. Buddy went down at 7:45 and was cool with it when we kept telling him it was in his dog and to hug it. The next day?

Done. Nothing else was mentioned. Naps? Fine. Bedtime? Slightly pushed back, but sleeping through the night. Emma has sailed right on through. Which tells me it was more than time to remove the enemy. Harrison was fine, but when we travel long distances in the car, he still says, "Bi-Bi??" When I remind him that it's gone, he says, "Oh." Like, so matter of fact.

So, I guess the moral of the story is this. Do not be a puss when it comes to taking your child's binky away. Because if my two crack addicts could make it and sail on through life, your child will be fine. I only WISH I hadn't waited so long. And I hope to God we don't have 384,949 dollars worth of dental bills in our future.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Just some things

So, we obviously finished up our beach vacation! I dropped the ball on uploading the rest of the pics and blogging from the beach, so I will get caught up on that soon. We had a really good time, though!

Some things going on lately:

*I got a lot of reading in at the beach! I tend to go through cycles with my reading VS internet usage. I'm either really into reading, or really into checking FB/IG/Twitter/blogs. Well, ever since the beach, I've been on a reading kick. If you're on Goodreads, check my page (Susannah Edwards) for TONS of dystopian and other fluff reviews and recommendations. I just finished the Private series and the Privilege series. I have a thing for YA literature. I can't stop. These are just some teenage boarding school/drama/murder mystery things I got really into. They are old and are probably at your library! I only had to buy 2 of the 29 books on Kindle.Yes, I read about 29 high school books in 2 weeks. Every nap time, bed time, free time, I was hooked.

*Someone hold me because Mother's Day Out/School is over and I'm already DROWNING in no alone time. I know it's a first world problem, but I need like 3 hours once a week to myself. I need to grocery shop and clean alone. And go shoot guns. And there is none of that on the horizon. I need to find a teenage babysitter, like yesterday.

Yes, I need you to come over NOW. Thanks.

*Emma likes for Harrison to come into the bathroom with her sometimes. And, we are loosely working on potty training him. As in, nudity and a frog potty in the den. Anyway, they go in there and she potties and they talk and laugh and whatever. I don't ask questions. Today, they went in there, he took his potty, they both got on their respective potties. I'm in the kitchen. I hear the door close. About 5 minutes later, I was like wha?? Where are they? I go in there and Y'ALL.They had used every single flushable wipe Emma has for #2, dunked it in the potty full of tee-tee, and were "washing" the toilet and hardwood floors. It was EVERYWHERE. I literally died. Fell down dead. Then I came unglued. OHHHHHHHHHHH EMMMMM GEEEE what a way to start the day! Lesson learned-no visitors in the potty and no closed doors!!

*If you are going to buy a travel DVD player for trips, do yourself a favor and NEVER order one from RCA. Rip the freak off. This is our second set of DVD players from RCA. Go spend the extra money on a Sony. We haven't even had these jokers for one year, and this is the second time they have broken. After digging around online to find the customer service number, I get connected to 4 different Indian agents and then they tell me to call another number. Now they tell me the "fuse must be out" and I need to go buy another fuse. And if that doesn't work, to call back. I'm sorry, but are you SHITTING ME? You go buy another fuse and mail it to me, jackass.

That's pretty much all that has been going on for the four days we have been out of school. Lots of second birthday planning for Mr. Harrison has been happening. Only 18 more days until his party! Goodness, I better get busy! Hope you all are having a fun summer so far!

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

St George Days 2 & 3

We have been having a great time on our vacation so far! And, we have been very active too! After the carriage bike riding and lighthouse hiking, we rented a kayak for 3 days. Now I'm sore on both ends! Ha! But, this is how the memories are made! We have been enjoying lots of sand play, pool time, and general adult relaxation during nap time. 

Harrison will tolerate the sand, but his favorite thing is a water hose.
He won't even think about getting in the ocean or pool, but he will 
go to town on the multiple hoses around here!

I can't get over how grown up Harrison looks! He's not even two yet!

We went in to Apalachicola on Monday and played around. Our favorite places 
to go are The Grady Market and The Owl Cafe. We did both and had a blast!
Emma and Harrison were having a game of checkers on the market patio.

Lunch at The Owl. Which turned into utter disaster about 14 minutes after arriving. Harrison wasn't into sitting and eating, Emma needed to go #2, etc. He was throwing crayons and ketchup, she was whining about the plain butter noodles she ordered. So I got to take one bite of my cilantro-jalapeno chicken salad before we had to leave. Maybe I can eat a whole meal in peace when they are 6.

Yes, they are so cute. However, they are devils in disguise.

Emma bought a pirate's treasure chest at the market and was very obsessed with it. 
She kept wanting to find treasure to put in it, lol! 

Pretty fountain in downtown Apalach

After our "lunch" we walked on the Apalach River to look at the fishing boats and barges. 
Then, we decided to go down the street to a playground and get some energy out before
 heading back to the island.

A giant chair!

Baby jail!

So yesterday we rented a double kayak to take out in the ocean and bay for fishing and playing. Harrison and Emma were enamored with it. They were content to sit in it with the paddles and play. Jason took Emma out into the ocean for a short ride. She loved it!

During nap time, Jason and I went to the state park that's about 3 miles from our house. They have a boat launch, so we put her in and proceeded to kayak to an island to have a few beers and a small picnic. Then the wind started blowing at around 15 mph. And we had to paddle back against the current. Dude. I would suck at sculling. I kept counting to 100 then letting us take a break. It was about a mile back, but it felt like it took us SO LONG to get back! So we got back to the launch and I promptly popped a cold one and sat down.

Ha! My cocktail hour starts around 3 or 4 here. I accidentally bought a 12 pack of these 
mini beers. This is me showing you how small it actually is. This was actually taken on the 7 HOUR ride
 in when all hell broke loose and my MIL was driving us the last few miles. I told her 
I needed a bev STAT!

And here are some random pics: this is where I enjoy my morning coffee. Yeah dude.

Freaking BBQ shrimp. A rad recipe. You sop up those butter/garlic/lemon
 juices with the French bread. Day-um. It's so good.

Miss Presh modeling her new cover-up.

Our house

The two little goombas being cute. Emma is wearing a consigned bikini that is too big, and Harrison is sporting his precious new Zucchini smocked suit with submarines on it. I love those jokers!

So that is what we have been up to! Internet and phone service has been spotty, so I've been reading a lot! I haven't been able to talk to my people, or check FB/Twitter/IG, but it's been good. I am hovering in a corner  working on this post-seems to be the best area in the house for internet connection.

We went and had major pool play today, so once we get into our other shenanigans, I'll catch you all up on that!