Bandwagon

Ok, I am over Google Reader anyway, what with its finicky ways of never letting me delete certain blogs, so let's do this. Please follow me with Bloglovin. There is a link to my profile at the bottom of the post. Everyone is doing it. :) And I have played with it and it seems very user friendly. I'm importing my blogs one by one so I can clean house, and I'm looking forward to adding some new blogs, too!

Ciao for now, I'll update soon. (PS, nothing much going on over here!)

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If I'd have known then what I know now.....

Yesterday I had the luxury of driving 3 hours round trip, alone. And yes, to those of us with children, driving alone anywhere is a luxury. Am I right? Anyway, given that much alone time in the car with the sunroof open and the music blaring (early 90's, if you must know), I found myself driving through the familiar terrain of my childhood, thinking of the past. When I'm driving home through Auburn, Montgomery, Prattville, all the little towns in between, and finally arriving in Birmingham, little memories come to me and remind me of so many things. I wish I would've known then how fast life really happens and how much we should really treasure our time before we grow up.

I wish I would've spent more time hunting with my dad in Autagaville. I was "so busy" in college and was only able to go down about 6-7 times to hunt, but those were some fun times, just me and my pops, and occasionally my uncle and cousin. Just crazy country fun. My dad is super patient and taught me literally everything I know about guns and shooting and hunting. And driving a 5 speed. And gutting a deer. And just enjoying nature. And growing things, planting things, landscaping, just lots of things that most dads don't know. And he was so patient teaching me how to do it myself. I wish right now that we could go down off highway 14 and get on the land and get in our tree stands and hunt. That would just make my day in a big way.

I wish I would've taken more time in college and as a young married woman to just go spend time with my Grannie Annie. Screw the 4.5 hour drive. She was so damn fun and sweet, and I miss her so much. I could never walk into her house as an adult without her offering me a cocktail and an appetizer, even if it was just goldfish and pretzels. She taught me so much about our family, she loved talking about all of our relatives, telling stories of the past and stories of her early life married to my Pappy. And I really wish I could've gotten to know my Pappy more than 13 years. Because the stories from my mom, dad, and Grannie about him are awesome. It would be great to talk to him about the ATF, his time in the service, and raising four crazy kids!

I wish I would have spent more girl time with my mom and asked her how to smock and knit. Because one day she won't be doing that, and it will be up to me to make my grand kids smocked outfits and lovies.

I wish I would have realized early on that my sister would be my best friend for life. Although we probably would've gotten in way more trouble than we did!!

I wish I would have spent less time fussing at Bart for barking or cleaning up the dog hair, and more time just enjoying his loyalty and company.

I wish I would have enjoyed and appreciated all of the wonderful things my hometown and state have to offer and actually done them. Can't beat Alabama!

I wish I wouldn't have waxed and tweezed my eyebrows into thin lines in college. Because now they are stuck that way, and at 34 years old, I have to fill them in with an eyebrow pencil.

I wish I would've washed my face more and taken better care of it in general. And that goes for the ole body, too. Damn baby weight. It doesn't fall off, BTW.

Oh, and I wish I would have never given my kids a binkie. For the love.

So, if I could go back in time for a redo, these are the things I would want to do.

What about you? What do you wish you would have known then?

My Boy

Bartholomew Edwards

2004-2013

This is my sweet angel pup, Bart. On Friday afternoon, Bart started laying out in the grass and not moving at all. Even when his favorite toy (motorcycles) drove by, he wouldn't bark or jump up. That was most definitely not like him. He loved to bark and protect the family. It was a little absurd, really. But sweet.

Bart wouldn't eat his dogfood or even any chicken. He just layed in one place and looked sad. I thought he might have a virus or something, so I decided to sleep downstairs with him in case he needed to be sick. He was fine all night, and the next morning, Saturday, I got up to feed him and let him out. When he got to the hardwood floors, he had some kind of neurological episode and his legs seemed to not function for a minute. I knew something was bad wrong, so I woke Jason up and told him I was taking Bart to the vet.

I got there before they opened and just sat in the parking lot petting and talking to Bart. When they opened, we went in and I explained what was happening. They sent us to a room and the tech came back to get his "vitals." The doctor came in shortly after and did a check up. He couldn't figure out what was going on, so they took blood. Barty and I cuddled on the floor and after a bit, he came back and said his white blood count was low and some other things looked weird, so he wanted to do an abdominal tap. They took a sample from his belly and it was all blood. 

The doctor told me that what he thought was happening was that Bart had a tumor on his spleen and that it had ruptured. He said we needed to do emergency surgery to assess. The doctor said it could be a 50-50 chance that the tumor was contained and hadn't spread. I loved my boy up and they took him back to get started. I left and honestly thought all would be fine. I was still in shock that he was bleeding internally and had something really bad wrong with him. The doctor said he would call as soon as he was inside and knew what we were dealing with.

Not 30 minutes later, I got the call. Apparently it was cancer and it had spread pretty bad. He said they could get what they could see, but it may still be in other places. And it would probably come back. My main concern was would Bart go back to his normal self afterwards, or would he just lay around and be pitiful? Of course I wanted more time with him, but not if he was sad and in pain. I had to make the worst decision-I decided to put him to sleep. I hate even typing that. It makes me want to puke. I feel so guilty. I wanted to be selfish and have him back, but I knew that was wrong. 

I did request to come back and see him and tell him good-bye. Y'all. I can't even. I've never seen a dog in surgery. It was not what I wanted to see. He was all covered up and still alive, but under anesthesia.  I gave my little boy lots of snuggles and just smelled his fur and cried my damn eyes out. I couldn't pull it together to leave. 

Then, I had to make the decision on what to do with him after. Just awful. I screamed and cried the whole way home. And then continued off and on all day. And then to top things off, Jason got a virus that afternoon/evening and was non stop throwing up. And all I wanted to do was check out of life for the rest of the day and get drunk that night. But I had to do life and take care of everyone else. So when everyone was in bed, I got cozy with the wine and cried my face off. 

I just MISS everything about Bart. His annoying barking. His constant begging for food. He followed me around everywhere. I rescued him from the Fulton County pound the month after Jason and I married.

The last three pictures are on Friday night and Saturday morning when he wasn't feeling well. He never really laid around-he was much too busy following me. 

I just picked up his urn and had a good cry fest, and now I will try to stop thinking sad thoughts. My pup was loved beyond belief, and he knew that. I'm glad he isn't sad like he was the last two days.

Sweet angel face Bart, your mommy loves you so much and misses everything about you. I hope you're watching down and knowing how much you meant to me. Now have fun barking, chasing, and playing with all of the other angel pups! 

Love Forever, Momma

Early Birthday!!

*Edited to add: I started this blog about four days before my birthday. And just remembered it! Ha! Oh we'll, enjoy if you can! And I'm not used to blogging from my iPad, so I don't know why my pics won't go where I want them.

Well, even though my 34th (gulp!) birthday isn't until next Sunday, I've already gotten two amazing gifts!

I've been wanting a small, handheld carpet cleaner for awhile. Because when messes happen on the carpet here, they are of the dog variety. I don't like getting out our giant Bissel carpet cleaner to clean one little dooky spot, so I was hoping Santa would bring me the Bissel Spotbot! And he delivered! In the form of my awesome in laws as a birthday gift!! Thanks, y'all! I've used it several times already, and the best part is you set it and walk away. Yes, it does the work itself and dings when it's clean!



Another thing I've been eyeing is a new handgun to add to my collection. I don't talk about my love of handguns on here, um...ever, but yeah. I really wanted the Ruger LCP 380. It's a compact pistol (semi-automatic) that is perfect for carrying. I called every gun dealer in a 40 mile radius and no one had it! I blame the school shooting and a re-election year on this run for guns and ammo. My timing was off by about two weeks, according to all the dealers I talked to. But, my persistence paid off when I found a gun "Craigslist" and found about five people in my area with them for sale! New! Thank you husband for this most generous gift!



Still on my list for anyone else needing an idea (ha ha!) is K cups and new house slippers. Dude, that's how 34 year olds roll. I'm practically 80.


We are slowly getting back into our groove after returning home on January 4! I came home to mass chaos in the form of Christmas decor, laundry, new gifts, and loads of unpacking. Thankfully the children started school back and I got almost everything knocked out! Just a few more things to do and then I'll start the week over with a whole new list. It never ends, but for that I am thankful.

What have y'all been up to lately in this new year?

Just Some Catch Up

I am quite fond of picture posts, especially when I haven't updated my journal in a while. So, let's see what we did in December, besides the obvious!

On a trip to Bass Pro to see Santa (HA-no dice!), Emma crawled in this shark head!

We went to a friend's house to make these cute ice cream cone 

Christmas trees and poser had fun eating all of the toppings.

Hahahaha! I can't remember where we were going, but this Elmo hat and gloves get up cracks me up!

Harrison was cleaning up for company! :)

Emma was riding FeFe's shoulders!

Emma really wanted to get these footie PJ's for Jason-ha!

At the Avenues shopping and Emma wants to hug each sculpture.

This cracks me up so hard! If only I had buddy with me and they posed together. Boom! Next year's card!

On that epic fail of a BPS trip, the carousel was a big hit!

And here is my husband with a friggin' mustache just to gross me out. 

Tom Selleck called. He wants his stache back. Ha!

I'll have to clean some more pics of my phone for another update soon! I'm still wading through piles of crap from 10 days out of town and can't handle much right now. 

Year End in review

Well, I don't have any links or other things to post, but it has been a fun, wild year! I'm going to bullet what I remember.

*In January, Emma moved into her big girl bed and I went gluten free. We started eating lots of yummy GF foods. I turned 33 and scored a Shark steam mop and began my Scentsy obsession.

*In February and March I was apparently too busy (read lazy) to blog and posted my menu and dealt with a lot of kid sickness. We continued to travel to Montgomery and Birmingham a good bit, too.

*In April, I read a lot of books during nap time, did a review for Fashion to Figure, and we took the family to a Braves game. We also had Easter in Birmingham with both sides of the family, went to Nashville to play with friends and see Grannie, and I dropped off my clothes for the big summer sale. This was also the month of Harrison pooping OUT OF HIS ENTIRE OUTFIT in Kroger and riding home with a plastic grocery bag as a diaper.

*In May, Harrison and Emma both got a haircut and we went to St George Island with Jason's family for a week of bliss!!

*In June, Harrison turned one and Emma became potty trained!!! We also celebrated sister's 30th birthday in Atl!! We also went to Nashville for a family reunion. Sarah and I also went to see Grannie in the hospital when she was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure. I am so glad to have had that time with her!

*In July, Emma had ballet camp and we had a fun 60th birthday (Alice in Wonderland tea party) for my MIL. I posted lots of weekly menus and teamed up with Campus Book Rentals to bring awareness to Operation Smile. Jason and I celebrated 8 years of marriage and I wrote about Project Hope and infant loss. We went to a super fun July 4 party and I almost lost my mind with Emma's picky eating habits.

*In August, we went to Orange Beach with my sister and brother for a week and had a blast!!! We also celebrated Emma's third birthday at my sister's house with a major Care Bears theme!! I also won an awesome Oreck Magnesium from Stuttering Shell!! Score!

*In September, I went to the Southeast's biggest consignment sale with my sissy and we scored all of the kids' fall and winter clothes, plus a few Christmas toys. I also almost lost my mind this month being with the kids 24/7, so we researched Christian day schools in our area and signed the kids up to start in October.

*In October, the children started day school three days per week, for four hours a day. And I became sane again. We also did Halloween with my friend Jill and had a great time at the pumpkin patch!! I also had to say goodbye to my precious Grannie Annie on October 13. We had a bit more sickness, too.

*In November, we got Mr. Harrison tubes. We went out of town for two family Thanksgivings and had a blast! It was great to be back at Grannie's house for one last hoo-rah! Also, Sarah and Scarlet came for a girls weekend!

*This December has brought the obvious with a lot of decorating, cooking, shopping, and crafting. We also went to a BBQ cook off in our town and Emma walked on water in a giant bubble. We had tons of play dates at the jump house. I got a double ear infection, so that was....cool. Or not. We are ending our year in Birmingham with my family and trying not to shank the kids who are in a bit of a funky mood.

I hope you all have a fabulous and safe New Years Eve and a wonderful 2013!!

Sorry for the lack of links, I'm working from my iPad!!

It's Christmas Eve y'all!

Well, we have baked and cooked and snacked ourselves to death these past few days! Lots of kitchen time is being logged! We have fed the reindeer, and laid out cookies, milk, and carrots. We have some soup simmering for dinner now and are anxiously awaiting for the "all asleep" so we can play Santa!

I truly hope that you and yours have a very merry Christmas and I will see you soon!