Anxious

I have to keep telling myself this is normal.

This super anxious feeling I keep having when I think about adding another baby to our family. I wanted this so bad. I still do. But, I am so scared of how it will change our family balance.

Right now, I'm doing a good job of pushing it out of my mind when I dwell. But, it is coming to the surface.

I am anxious about Emma and the change she will go through. Will she act out? Change her behaviors? Beg for attention? Be jealous or sad? That's my little love nug-I only want the best for her.

I am anxious about staying home from work. Will I love it? Hate it? Go crazy? Beg for Jason to come home early and help me?

I am anxious about having one income.

I am anxious about raising two children under two.

I am anxious about raising a boy.

I am really anxious about getting all of the things done on my list before HME arrives. Basic stuff like set up his nursery, set up Emma's new room, make a playroom, etc.

I am anxious about finishing the school year SO pregnant.

I am anxious about all of the people who are worried about bigger things, while I worry about getting a playroom made, a nursery set up, curtains found, etc. Get real Susannah.

I am anxious about having a second C Section and taking care of Emma. I want her to still know "normal." I actually had someone at work tell me that I shouldn't have another C Section because I wouldn't be able to take care of my child and that wasn't fair to her.

I am anxious about breastfeeding/pumping.

I am anxious in general.

I want this to be a seamless transition for our family. It won't be. There will be bumps. We will make it. I am still nervous about it all.

I want time to blend with my new family, but I want/need help.



I know this is normal: pregnancy hormones and life changes cause anxiety.  I have read several of your blogs about the anxiety you are facing as you prepare for the birth of your second (or more) child.

What do you/did you do to deal with this anxiety?

I need to let go. It will be okay. But, for an OCD type A personality, that's hard. And things still need to get prepared for baby boy. :)

Thanks for listening.

xoxo

It's a................................

I still cannot believe it!

I thought boy for so long with Emma, and was obviously wrong. I kept thinking this was a boy, and thought the doctor would say girl!

Emma is going to have a little brother!!! His initials are going to be H.M.E. Family name, no sharing yet! We are beyond thrilled! He looks perfectly healthy and weighs a pound already!

I on the other hand need to lay off the eating. :) I have gained entirely too much weight. Back to grilled chicken, rice, and veggies. Blech. I DO NOT want to feel guilty about wanting something "bad" but I need to remember that pregnant women only need about 300 extra calories per day. Time to reign it in. Lucky for y'all, I'll complain fill you in on the way of my new food journey. If I end up with Gestational Diabetes, I will definitely have to get the eating under control!

Anyway, I am super excited and now need to know allll about little boys and where to buy the cute smocked longalls and all that jazz. Cause boyfriend is gonna be wearing it!

Yay!

On another note, who can recommend a place/site/etsy store to get Emma a shirt that says, "I'm the big sister!"

xoxo