Wednesday, April 13, 2011


I have to keep telling myself this is normal.

This super anxious feeling I keep having when I think about adding another baby to our family. I wanted this so bad. I still do. But, I am so scared of how it will change our family balance.

Right now, I'm doing a good job of pushing it out of my mind when I dwell. But, it is coming to the surface.

I am anxious about Emma and the change she will go through. Will she act out? Change her behaviors? Beg for attention? Be jealous or sad? That's my little love nug-I only want the best for her.

I am anxious about staying home from work. Will I love it? Hate it? Go crazy? Beg for Jason to come home early and help me?

I am anxious about having one income.

I am anxious about raising two children under two.

I am anxious about raising a boy.

I am really anxious about getting all of the things done on my list before HME arrives. Basic stuff like set up his nursery, set up Emma's new room, make a playroom, etc.

I am anxious about finishing the school year SO pregnant.

I am anxious about all of the people who are worried about bigger things, while I worry about getting a playroom made, a nursery set up, curtains found, etc. Get real Susannah.

I am anxious about having a second C Section and taking care of Emma. I want her to still know "normal." I actually had someone at work tell me that I shouldn't have another C Section because I wouldn't be able to take care of my child and that wasn't fair to her.

I am anxious about breastfeeding/pumping.

I am anxious in general.

I want this to be a seamless transition for our family. It won't be. There will be bumps. We will make it. I am still nervous about it all.

I want time to blend with my new family, but I want/need help.

I know this is normal: pregnancy hormones and life changes cause anxiety.  I have read several of your blogs about the anxiety you are facing as you prepare for the birth of your second (or more) child.

What do you/did you do to deal with this anxiety?

I need to let go. It will be okay. But, for an OCD type A personality, that's hard. And things still need to get prepared for baby boy. :)

Thanks for listening.



  1. I love you! I know that is alot because it is all so unknown! Just remember God would never give you what you can not handle, and I will be happy to come help! I will start praying for you to have some peace of mind!! I cant wait to see that boy!

  2. Everything you are feeling is completely normal. I guess the best advice I can give is to not expect too much. That may sound pessimistic, but, it helps you "go with the flow" more easily. I am STILL dealing with the anxiety and complications of having a 2nd child while parenting my 1st. The one thing I know is will love him just the same as you love Emma. Its absolutely amazing how it happens and I was absolutely scared to death that I wouldn't feel the same about him as I did/do about Rutledge bc I knew my world wouldn't be ALL about Gaines, like it was with Rutledge. Emma will get jealous, she will act out, she will do all of those things you are scared of...and more. Its just the nature of the beast. The one thing I try to do a few times everyday is to hold Rutledge for a little while. After I feed Gaines and have some awake time with him, I put him down for a nap and then I get Rutledge to climb in my lap and we read books or watch a favorite show or color or something. What made this REALLY hard in the beginning is that this was the time (with Rutledge) that I would take a nap right along with the baby. So, for the first few weeks, you do need someone with you to help with Emma bc you NEED your rest! Otherwise, you won't be able to keep up with 2 babes! Another thing, I truly think we did a great thing when we sent Rutledge to stay with my Sissy for several days after we came home from the hospital. I didn't want him to go bc I didn't want him to feel left out or neglected....ummm, he had a blast and was SO happy to be having fun and having someone be ALL about him! We talked several times a day and that helped. It helped SO much to have several days with just Mama, Daddy & new baby. We were able to get in sort of a routine, I could sleep when baby slept and kind of get my strength back. It also helped that Rutledge is in preschool 3 mornings this year. By the time we got home from "school" it was time for lunch and his 3-4 hour nap....perfect for the Mama to take her nap! So, I would encourage you to find a little MMO program for Emma this summer and next year. We started out with 2 mornings a week when he was 18 mths. It is a financial sacrifice but its worth it. Its worth it bc if you can plan to have a few hrs with just 1 babe, it makes grocery shopping & errand running A LOT easier! Try tackling a bucket seat and toddler at the same time...NOT COOL! You really want to minimize your alone outings with both kids....its more trouble than its worth. Also, stock up on essentials before summer so you don't have to worry about basics. That helped me a ton! I know this is a ton of info but I wanted to tell ya what I know! I also know that you read my sob story about breastfeeding the 2nd time around....just know this, you might have the best experience, and you might not. Each child is different and each nursing experience is different and sometimes you can do the same for each child and sometimes you can't. And that's ok! You will do great and Emma won't be scarred for life, I promise! Another thing, I didn't have Rutledge up at the hospital during and after delivery. I didn't want him to see me hooked up to an IV or anything like that. We waited till the next day to see him and for him to meet Brother! Also, when she comes to visit in the hospital, make sure that no one is holding HME! Have him in the bassinet or in the nursery. Let her have some time with you first and then introduce to HME, that way the 1st thing she sees won't be Mama & Daddy "replacing" her with the new babe!

  3. I assure you angel, all of your anxiety is normal. This is new, unexplored territory for you. You will love HME as much as Emma (I promise), Emma will act up and need corrections and be jealous but she will not be scarred by the arrival of a brother! All will turn out well in the Edwards household! I love you!

  4. Oh, girl! I feel for you. I totally understand how you're stressing but I just know things will work out wonderfully for you and your family. Might be some tough times but you'll be great. I know that doesn't help the anxiety - I'm a worrier too. Hope once that sweet boy arrives all your worries melt away.

  5. I have the same personality, and I feel the same way, and this is only Baby No. 1. I have no words of wisdom for either of us. I'm sorry!

    But I do know we can do it! I'm just not sure how!

  6. Like Laura said, I'll be saying a prayer for you, your family, and your peace of mind. Also, like your mom said, Emma will act out (that's normal!) and you are such a great mama, she will KNOW she is loved from the bottom of your heart! And all in due time, things will become normal in the Edwards household.

    I know I sound ridiculous because I'm not a mom, but I have faith in you and know that things will turn out for the best. Like Laura said, you wouldn't be given anything you can't handle, I believe that!

    If you need help with anything, I'm willing to come down for a weekend - just say the word!


  7. Obviously don't have 2 kids...but I'd guess its normal. I'm excited for you to stay home! I think you'll LOVE IT!

  8. I feel your pain and felt the EXACT SAME WAY before my babies were born. Someone once told me that babies multiply love. They do. Your heart is about to grow so much bigger- than you ever thought possible. It is amazing! An you're anxious-pour out your heart to the Lord! He will give you rest. Praying for you! You're going to rock all of this!

  9. Sus, I think what you're feeling is just normal. I worry about everything under the sun that there is to worry about.

    And others are right. Emma will act out & you'll have to correct her, but you know, she'd be acting out anyway, just maybe over different things.

    You can do this. I have a ton of faith in you.


  10. Definitely have a lot of the same anxiety!! Lots of changes!! Thanks for posting this! are you not considering a vbac?

  11. Sus, you are such a good mommy! Everyone has anxiety before a baby (especially me) and that person at work needs to MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS. You will be fine, you have lots of family support, and I will be happy to come help with Meems and HME if you ever need me. LOVES!

  12. Honey, I think it will all work out great. I am not a momma, but I am sure you will totally be rockin' this second go round....and the third and fourth...

    For realz, hang in there. We are all rooting for you!

  13. I feel ya girl. I haven't even started trying for baby number 2 yet, and I am already nervous about it! I guess most mother's feel the same way and it always works itself out. Just think how wonderful Emma is going to feel having a little sister wants she gets used it the changes. It might be tricky at first, but so was the first one!

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