I have to keep telling myself this is normal.
This super anxious feeling I keep having when I think about adding another baby to our family. I wanted this so bad. I still do. But, I am so scared of how it will change our family balance.
Right now, I'm doing a good job of pushing it out of my mind when I dwell. But, it is coming to the surface.
I am anxious about Emma and the change she will go through. Will she act out? Change her behaviors? Beg for attention? Be jealous or sad? That's my little love nug-I only want the best for her.
I am anxious about staying home from work. Will I love it? Hate it? Go crazy? Beg for Jason to come home early and help me?
I am anxious about having one income.
I am anxious about raising two children under two.
I am anxious about raising a boy.
I am really anxious about getting all of the things done on my list before HME arrives. Basic stuff like set up his nursery, set up Emma's new room, make a playroom, etc.
I am anxious about finishing the school year SO pregnant.
I am anxious about all of the people who are worried about bigger things, while I worry about getting a playroom made, a nursery set up, curtains found, etc. Get real Susannah.
I am anxious about having a second C Section and taking care of Emma. I want her to still know "normal." I actually had someone at work tell me that I shouldn't have another C Section because I wouldn't be able to take care of my child and that wasn't fair to her.
I am anxious about breastfeeding/pumping.
I am anxious in general.
I want this to be a seamless transition for our family. It won't be. There will be bumps. We will make it. I am still nervous about it all.
I want time to blend with my new family, but I want/need help.
I know this is normal: pregnancy hormones and life changes cause anxiety. I have read several of your blogs about the anxiety you are facing as you prepare for the birth of your second (or more) child.
What do you/did you do to deal with this anxiety?
I need to let go. It will be okay. But, for an OCD type A personality, that's hard. And things still need to get prepared for baby boy. :)
Thanks for listening.