Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Giving up the BINKY!

Ohhhhh, friends. I have a confession to make. And, from the title, I'm sure you can assume what it is. That's right-I'm a binky mom. I have been a binky mom for the past FOUR YEARS. I love the binky. The binky brings comfort to newborns and toddlers alike. The binky is good. The binky makes my children happy. The binky is a God send.

And then? I took the damn binky away. That's right-I stripped my children of one of their two comfort items. The other item being a knitted lovie.

Anywho, I have always had some backlash from husband and family members to just TAKE.THE BINKY.AWAY. SUSANNAH. God, just take it, don't be so scared, it's so babyish, it's awful, it's deforming them, blah, blah, blah. I didn't get down with all that because I had a binky UNTIL I WAS SIX YEARS OLD.

Yes, you read that right. I was in SCHOOL and still took a binky at home. God bless my mama, she indulged my binky addict ways. And I was a sly one. I would tell her (the former dental hygienist) that I was READY to give that binky to the dentist, throw it off a bridge, put it in the trash, etc. And then when it came time to shit or get off the pot-I did not shit. I stayed on the pot. With ma' binky.

And then I turned six and shit got real and I threw it off a bridge into the Mississippi River on vacation.

Back to the case in point. I was indulging my children in their binky addict ways, because what? What was really gonna happen? Jacked up teeth? Going to kindergarten with it? No. Get real. It would work itself out.

Then, we came upon binky loss in the night. Binky falling out. Where's the binky? Wahhhh! I want my binky, okay I'm up now!

Then we went to the beach at the beginning of May and I saw a SEVEN YEAR OLD GIRL in the bathroom of Cracker Barrel with a binky in her mouth. In broad daylight. And my child said to her, "Why do you have a binky in the bathroom during the day?" (Then I died and was simultaneously proud of her. Ha!) So husband and I embarked upon "Binky Removal 2013."

I told him it HAD to be when he was home-because honestly? Who wants to do that shiz alone? Not this girl! We chose Memorial Day weekend-when he would be around to deal with the binky backlash.

We made a plan. We stuck with it. We were going to Build a Bear and putting that damn binky inside of a stuffed animal for comfort and it was GOING TO WORK!

So off we went to the mall, we built a puppy dog (Harrison's request) and an ugly ass tie-dyed bear (Emma's request), we stuffed that binky inside, did a dance, gave it a heart/brain/whatever, and high tailed it out of there for $38!!!

Emma's bear was named Lowly, Harrison's dog was named Joanie, we went to the car armed with our binky lovin' fools, and................the shit hit the fan.

Before going inside. Everyone is happy with their crack, I mean, binky.

Sidenote: How ridiculous does my ALMOST FOUR YEAR OLD look with a binky?!?!?!

On the way home, Emma lost her shiz, Buddy kept saying "bi-bi" and I was hyperventilating thinking of nap and bed time.

Naps were a crap shoot, bed time was decent. Emma was up until 11:00, woke up twice asking for her binky, then was over it. Buddy went down at 7:45 and was cool with it when we kept telling him it was in his dog and to hug it. The next day?

Done. Nothing else was mentioned. Naps? Fine. Bedtime? Slightly pushed back, but sleeping through the night. Emma has sailed right on through. Which tells me it was more than time to remove the enemy. Harrison was fine, but when we travel long distances in the car, he still says, "Bi-Bi??" When I remind him that it's gone, he says, "Oh." Like, so matter of fact.

So, I guess the moral of the story is this. Do not be a puss when it comes to taking your child's binky away. Because if my two crack addicts could make it and sail on through life, your child will be fine. I only WISH I hadn't waited so long. And I hope to God we don't have 384,949 dollars worth of dental bills in our future.


  1. Yes child, you survived the binkey removal! I will correct you were five and told me you were ready to take it to Dr. Roebuck (dentist) and put on his wall. I dressed, we did, and all hell broke lose that night but we all survived! You did say you were going to throw it off the bridge but never would!!! Glad your angels have done so well! ♥Mom

  2. Reese is a thumb sucker! I'm doomed b/c you any take a child's thumb away. Haha!

  3. Glad that they are doing great!

  4. They are so precious! I am torn on whether or not we are going to give a binky to Chunk - G and I have discussions about this. And I am sure my orthodontist father in law will opine at some point or another.

    So glad the bambinos are doing well - binky-free and al!!

    1. Ha! It was so not the bug deal I imagined!! I will give a binky to another baby, and then take it at a year. Emma was a hardcore user-she would get hurt, get in trouble, etc, and want it. I was shocked by her getting over it so easily!!

  5. You are too funny! So glad the de-binkying of 2013 was a success! Blaire's a thumb sucker but only occasionally. I hope I don't have to cut that thumb off one day. It seems a better option than those hideous plastic finger guards I've seen though. ;)


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