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First of all, thank you for putting up with all of these advice askin, not real post things I've got going on! I am a needy Nelly right now, for sure! I need some more advice on "kid stuff."
Emma's 18 month appointment isn't until early February, so I wanted to ask you about three things that I plan on asking the pediatrician. I need some mom to mom (or non mom, if you have ideas) advice!
First up, we have the lovely subject of taking milk from a bottle. Ugh. I know I'm going to get sh*t for this, but Emma still takes all of her whole milk from her bottle. I think at her baby sitter's house, she drinks her lunch milk out of a sippy cup with a straw.
Now, it's not that I don't want to transition her from a bottle to a cup, it's that SHE doesn't want to. She really finds comfort in her bottle. She walks around calling for her ba-ba. I have tried on several occasions, when we are on a long weekend, vacay, snow day, etc to give her the lunch milk out of a sippy cup. She takes about 2-3 of the 7 ounces, and calls it quits. And those 2-3 ounces are over a period of about 2 hours!
How can I do this? I know she won't starve, but it is KILLING ME to throw away the 6$/gallon organic whole milk when she doesn't drink it! Suggestions welcome. Criticism, take a hike. :)
Next up, we have the topic of hitting. I am about to go postal on this one. Emma has started "slapping" at things that make her mad. Upon the suggestion of several friends and her trusted baby sitter, when Emma hits/slaps at another person or living thing (the dogs) she is told NO and goes to timeout for one minute.
This has not really lessened the hitting episodes though. Maybe this is normal for this age, but it is unacceptable to me. I have taught her how to touch "nicely" and when she hits or swings at me, I say NO and then she says NICE and rubs me. It's a pattern. I also think she has no clue what time out is and why she is in it, even though I talk to her. I make her sit facing the front door, and I have to sit with my legs around her so she can't escape.
I tell ya, this child rearin' business is tough work! Again, what do you do? What could I be trying?
And finally, the dreaded topic of potty training.
I think it is time to do this for two reasons: one, because Emma says poo poo and she has a shi**y diaper, and two, because I would love to have her potty trained before the next one comes along.
I have a book called Three Day Potty Training by Lora Jensen. Two of my personal friends have used this method and it has worked! On 17 month olds or younger! Amazing! I am going to read the book (a quick 40 pages) and give it a go. However, do you think this is too early to try, OR do you think I have screwed up by waiting? I mean she is telling me when she has a poo poo and saying ewwww! Yikes.
Not trying to be a mom fail all around.
I personally don't care about the milk from a bottle. But, the pedi said something last visit about us needing to end it by 18 months.
I DO care about the hitting. That is not cool. And it would be NICE (said in Emma voice) to have a potty trained child!
I welcome your suggestions on any of these topics!
Thanks in advance y'all, you always come through!
xoxo
(Not even gonna mention the fact that someone still takes a paci. I'm choosing my battles here. :))
Not being judgemental cause for one some will tell you to let her have the bottle if you want and some would say you are just a bad mother for letting her have it. Really doesn't matter to me, but I will tell you how to get rid of it- you can take my advice or not and it is really okay w/me.
ReplyDeleteTo get rid of it- stop cold turkey and decide you are more determined than your daughter on this one. Put milk only in a sippy cup. When she refuse take her to the frig and show her where you put it (this will elevate it going sour). Explain it will be there when she wants it and she can come and ask for it. She will be moody and complain- maybe even throw a fit, but you must be more determined than her. When a fit happens restate what she should do when and if she decides she wants to drink it and walk away.
Hitting- don't know if you spank, but I do and I don't see anything wrong with it. You could try popping her to let her see how it feels. If you don't want to follow this don't, but it worked for me.
Potty training- I've heard of people potty training kids early and even had a few friends an relatives claim there kids have done this, but after being around them you realize they are not really potty trained. Around 2 1/2 years is a good time to train- this is realistic. Any person and even pediatrician that tells you differently hasn't really done it. Girls should go potty w/mom and boys w/daddy when it is time. Don't teach your son to potty like a girl- this method is a bunch of hogwash in my opinion, but like I said do whatever works for you. W/my son I sent him w/my hubby and also told him if he wanted to move up to the next class at school he had to use the potty. I tried right after he turned two and about drove myself crazy. I tried the potty in his room and left him naked all day only to have more accidents than I ever want to clean up again. Finally gave up and tried again after 2 1/2. With my daughter I waited till she was 2 1/2- I took a potty to school and her teacher worked with her, but it did not work. When I started noticing she didn't wet some nights I put a pair of panties on her one weekend. After she had them on she told me she needed to put her diaper back on- I knew then she knew when she needed to go. I put her on the potty and never put a diaper back on her. On Monday morning I took her to school and announced to the teacher. Neither of my children have had more than one or two accidents since being potty trained. All those folks that tell you their kids are potty trained any earlier deal w/lots of accident- not realy potty trained.
You have to do what is best for you, but these things worked for me. No judgement from me-do what works for you.
Have you tried the Nuby cups? They are a nice transition from bottle to cup.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the hitting...L went through that at her age too. That's when we started Love and Logic. They would say the problem with your time out is that you are still giving her attention in the time out and you should isolate her in her room or a pack and play for a few minutes.
And potty training...I'd personally wait, but that's just because everyone I know who potty trained supah early ended up having kids who regressed. But that's just me.
My kids are crazy. My 4.5 month old still doesn't sleep in his own bed, nor does he sleep through the night. L got in trouble at school the other day. So take my advice with a grain of salt. ;)
Having a 13 month old, here's what I know! I'm starting to deal with the bottle issue as well. Sally won't really do a sippy cup. I'm thinking about going for broke and just giving her a sippy cup and taking away the bottle. I don't know, may try that in February! Hitting? Not there yet! Potty training? Not there yet! But all of my crazy hippie Mom friends have potty trained their girls by 18 months. Not sure how they did it. You may want to try and get some of the old fashioned training pants. Just a thought, again, not there yet! Good luck and hang in there!!!!
ReplyDeleteObviously, I can only come from a "what I've read and seen" point of view, but...it's better than nothing.
ReplyDeleteI'm un-opinionated about the bottle thing so sorry I won't be of help to you there.
But the hitting thing: Like Gina, I was going to suggest Love & Logic as well. Brent has started using that on our nephew and he (Noah) does very well. Gina will have excellent resources for you with where to find that info.
As far as potty training: Are you able to read her cues (sounds, faces, etc) to be able to tell when she might be ready to go? If not, maybe start paying attention after she eats to see what you can pick up. Once you get a cue from her, take her to the potty. This method is basically "elimination communication" which we plan on beginning in infancy. Our friends were very successful with this and have a daughter who was potty trained at 14 months. Since this will be new to Emma, I'd probably pick a 3-day weekend and just focus on it for those few days. Mothering Magazing (mothering.com) might have some good articles about this.
Hope that's helpful at least a little!
For what it's worth, mine all "reverted" on the potty training when a new sibling was born. More power to you if you get her trained so young. Personally, though I hate the cost of diapers and it's a lot of work, so is taking them three times every hour - especially when you're out and about. If it was me, I would wait a bit. Little Bit tells me every time she wets...I've put her on the pot several times when she's asked, but I'm not sweating it right now. Sister trained herself. She was a little older than two and came inside one afternoon and stripped. When I asked her what she was doing she told me she didn't want to wear "dis diper" anymore. Save a few accidents, that was it. REGARDLESS, my hat is off to you!
ReplyDeleteAnd on the hitting...with each of mine, I firmly tell them no the first few times, after that I firmly tell them "no" and pop them on the hand - hard enough to sting. Of course they cry...and I pick 'em up and cuddle them and reassure them of my love. Sitting out hasn't been effective with mine until they were older and could better understand - I just started Little Man with that concept.
Hope that helps. You are doing great!
You're in good company:) Lil Man has been doing the hitting thing for a while and we do the same thing you do. I think the important thing is to enforce some kind of discipline even if they don't "get" the whole "time out" thing. They'll learn eventually. But sticking with it is key, I think.
ReplyDeleteYour ordeal with the bottle is our ordeal with eating. Lil man has decided he only likes to eat mac and cheese. This is killing me. So I've decided that what I prepare for him to eat, he will eat. If he doesn't want to eat it, then he doesn't eat. I told him the other day that I'm pretty sure kiddos in Africa don't turn their nose up and say "mmm, not into my porridge today but thanks for trying." Nope. He won't starve, when he's hungry enough, he'll eat. Same with Em, if she's thirsty she'll drink. Don't stress about how much etc. Lots of kiddos don't even drink milk and turn out just fine:)
That's all I got;)
I just recently got Davis off of the bottle and I just had to do it cold turkey. He would drink it from a sippy sometimes, but not a lot and I was freaking out if he didn't drink all his milk, like you. The doctor told me it was just fine and that he gest most of his nutrients from other food and he does like yogurt and cheese so not to worry. So finally I had just had enough of the bottles and the sippys he does best with are the playtex sippy cups with the hard top. At first he would only drink a few ounces but now he drinks much more. You could start by not putting as much milk in the cup so that you don't waste any. It took a week or so, and some days he had barely any milk, but now he drinks it with no problem. They say if they are thirsty they will drink.
ReplyDeleteWe are still on the paci...I just think they are not going to go to kindergarten with a paci and bottle so I try not to sweat the small stuff. He really only has it at night (he goes to be with 4 pacis..haha!) and in the car if he gets fussy. I try to limit it during the day.
Potty training, I am not even going there with Davis. He tells us when he has to poop and he is very aware of what it is, but I too have heard of them regressing with a new sibling and I don't want to be dealing with a newborn and Davis having accidents at the same time, but girls are different. I thought I would try this summer when I am home all day with him and he will be wearing shorts. But, I have several friends that have done it earlier and it worked for them.
Davis hits, especially me! I tried popping him but then he started doing that to me and others when he got mad or frustrated so that stopped. We try time out, but that does not work either. He sits for literally 2 seconds and then he starts blowing kisses or saying hi. It was almost like he liked time out, he would go sit in his time out spot for fun. I keep trying it though. It works best when Lance says NO and then he puckers his lip and looks down and you can tell he knows he did something wrong....I don't have that same magic I guess. Let me know if you find something that works with this. I also think it is a stage they all go through. I just say no firmly take him to time out and then we talk about how to be nice, maybe one day it will work...I don't know....GEEZZ!
Thanks for posting these, I have the same questions so it is nice to hear other moms opinions.
I just recently got Davis off of the bottle and I just had to do it cold turkey. He would drink it from a sippy sometimes, but not a lot and I was freaking out if he didn't drink all his milk, like you. The doctor told me it was just fine and that he gest most of his nutrients from other food and he does like yogurt and cheese so not to worry. So finally I had just had enough of the bottles and the sippys he does best with are the playtex sippy cups with the hard top. At first he would only drink a few ounces but now he drinks much more. You could start by not putting as much milk in the cup so that you don't waste any. It took a week or so, and some days he had barely any milk, but now he drinks it with no problem. They say if they are thirsty they will drink.
ReplyDeleteWe are still on the paci...I just think they are not going to go to kindergarten with a paci and bottle so I try not to sweat the small stuff. He really only has it at night (he goes to be with 4 pacis..haha!) and in the car if he gets fussy. I try to limit it during the day.
Potty training, I am not even going there with Davis. He tells us when he has to poop and he is very aware of what it is, but I too have heard of them regressing with a new sibling and I don't want to be dealing with a newborn and Davis having accidents at the same time, but girls are different. I thought I would try this summer when I am home all day with him and he will be wearing shorts. But, I have several friends that have done it earlier and it worked for them.
Davis hits, especially me! I tried popping him but then he started doing that to me and others when he got mad or frustrated so that stopped. We try time out, but that does not work either. He sits for literally 2 seconds and then he starts blowing kisses or saying hi. It was almost like he liked time out, he would go sit in his time out spot for fun. I keep trying it though. It works best when Lance says NO and then he puckers his lip and looks down and you can tell he knows he did something wrong....I don't have that same magic I guess. Let me know if you find something that works with this. I also think it is a stage they all go through. I just say no firmly take him to time out and then we talk about how to be nice, maybe one day it will work...I don't know....GEEZZ!
Thanks for posting these, I have the same questions so it is nice to hear other moms opinions.
Lucy still takes a paci and she is about to be two. Pick your battles. I just took the bottles away and there was no other options. If she wouldn't take the sippy I would just set it out and she evetually went to it. It wasn't really difficult. Lu also started doing the hitting thing when she was about that age. It mostly was toward me or herself when she was frustrated. I would ignore it and if it wouldn't work, put her in time out. I now use a carpet square for time out and it works great. Also, a timer. The buzzer seems to help. I would have to stand in front of her/ hold her and if she moved she would have to stay longer. We started that at about that same time. I have also heard that potty training book is great.
ReplyDeleteMalia was attached to her bottle too...it was her "security blanket." She was every bit of 1.5 years old before she gave it up (and by then she was only having a bottle at night). It happened, though. Just be patient.
ReplyDeleteAs for potty training, I was determined to have her out of diapers before Aidan came along (the kiddos are 27 months apart). It didn't happen. But, she did well transitioning from diapers to pullups to big girl unnawears. I don't remember how long it was before she was in unnawears exclusively, but wasn't as bad as I thought it would be having two in diapers.
We had trouble transitioning to the sippy cup, too. But I went cold turkey on the bottles at one year just because I was sick of bottles! I asked my pediatrician about how Nolan really didn't seem interested in drinking from the sippy cup and told her I was concerned he wasn't getting enough milk. She said not to worry about giving him a "set amount" of milk-that he was getting his dairy through other things he was eating during the day. We just kept plugging along-he threw his cup on the floor and would only take a sip here or there when I would hold it for him. He has just now started regularly drinking from his sippy and it's been a month since we quit bottles. Not sure how much this will help! :)
ReplyDeleteBased solely on psych class readings and discussions, the hitting thing is normal. Kids go through weird phases where they do a ton of weird behaviors that they normally don't and are often inappropriate behaviors. It's just part of growing up. But to curb a lot of the behaviors, including the bottle/sippy cup issue, standing up and asserting yourself as the parent, her as the child who follows your direction is a good approach. Obviously assertation needs to come with explanation. So before implementing the "use a cup" rule or "don't hit rule", she needs an explanation as to why it's wrong or that this is why she is going to be doing something new. But don't try and explain during a meltdown, which just encourages the maladaptive behaviors. Granted, its easier said than done. And someone else said to put the bottle in the fridge and not to freak if she doesn't drink it. She'll still grow to be a big girl!
ReplyDeletePersonally, hubs and I plan on spanking our kids. We both believe it was effective for us when we were younger, especially before we could successfully do a time out. But we're old school and fly that freak flag loud and proud.
OMG sus. i love this post is all i have to say. you basically took the words out of my mouth with the bottle/wasting milk situation. We just started this this weekend. i am reading your comments you have gotten. I will let you know what comes of it. Also, let me know about the potty training book.
ReplyDelete